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How to Form Habits That Will Help You Reach Your Goals

Career & Business, Health & Wellness, Life Coach Library, Personal Growth & Spirituality

One of the keys to reaching a new goal is to have habits in place that support that goal. If your current habits are counter-productive, you’ll need to change them or face the reality of not reaching your goals.

How do success habits help you reach your goals?

Suppose you have the goal of running a marathon: if you don’t already have the habit of running regularly, your chances of you reaching is very low. Running regularly gets you closer to attaining your goal in several ways, including getting you in great physical shape and strengthening your endurance.

Developing supportive habits can be easier than you think and far more powerful than you can imagine!

Identify the Habits You Need

Before you create new, positive habits, you’ll want to figure out which habits will help you attain your goals. For every goal, there are habits that can pretty much guarantee your success. Reflect on your goals and what actions you can take to help bring them about.

Here are some habits that people who always reach their goals have:

1. Look for daily habits. Habits you practice each day are much easier to put into place and keep than those that are less frequent.

2. Keep it simple. The more complex the task, the less likely you are to stick with it. If you really do need to implement a complex habit, start with a simpler version and then add more complexity later. Set some SMART goals to develop new habits in your routine.

3. Be specific. It’s not enough to just specify what you’re going to do; include the how, when, and where as well. Time is always critical when creating a new habit. Be sure to specify a precise period of time in which you wish to implement the new actions.

  • So “I’m going to exercise 1 hour per day” is inadequate. “I’m going to swim from 6-7 am, Monday through Friday at the YMCA” is more like it. This has enough detail to be quite clear about what you want to accomplish and includes the how, when and where.

Prepare for Interference

There are usually obstacles to creating new habits and behavioral patterns. Try to figure out these possibilities ahead of time so you can eliminate them as soon as possible.

How to achieve personal success

For example, if you’ve decided that you’re going to eat a healthy breakfast every day, get rid of all the breakfast junk food in your pantry and freezer. That junk food is an obstacle to successfully implementing your habit. The obstacle might be time interference. Maybe your partner, child or family members do not usually leave you alone for 20-40 minutes every night so you can meditate, write, read, or whatever it is you want to do towards your goal. Simply let them know ahead of time that you need be undisturbed during this time.

Look for More Supporting Habits

When you determine supporting habits that will help you reach your goal, consider going even deeper into the details to find habits that will help you accomplish your other new habits.

For example, if one of your new habits is to make it to the gym every morning by 6:30 am, you can develop several supporting habits to help you establish this habit, such as:

  • Get out of bed by 5:45 am.
  • In order to get up at 5:45 am each day, you might need an additional habit of always being in bed by 10:30 pm.
  • Another supporting habit might be to pack your gym bag the night before.

These supporting habits are extremely importance to your success. Spend some time thinking about additional habits you can develop to support your efforts.

Just as counter-productive habits can keep you from success, supportive habits can aid to your victory. So, consider the habits that will best support your goals, put them into action on a daily basis, and enjoy your new success!

If you’ve tried to reach your goals on your own in the past and fallen short, or if you’re ready to start and want to save time in reaching success, try working with a life coach. A coach will help you stay motivated, hold you accountable, and strategize ways to overcome interference so you can stay on track. Life Coach Library makes finding a coach simple. Simply register and we will match you with up to three certified coaches. It’s free and each coach will offer you a complimentary coaching consultation so that you may conveniently find the right match.

Clifford Aning

empowercoaching.us

clifford@empowercoaching.us

It’s Time to Spring Clean Your Self-Talk! Lose the negative and bring in the positive!

Career & Business, Health & Wellness, Life Coach Library, Personal Growth & Spirituality

It’s true we all experience negativity in our lives. One day you’re in a great mood until you talk to that one friend or family member that always manages to bring you down. They may have been well intentioned, but they were just so negative it was an energy-suck. You may have even been that person a time or two, possibly thinking you were being helpful or cautious.

The average human has about 48 thoughts per minute. Only 6-8 of them are conscious and the other 40 or so are running in the background, in our subconscious. That means that almost 80% of your reaction to the world is literally on auto-pilot.

What’s even more alarming is that psychologists say on average 70% of unconscious thoughts are negative or limiting. YIKES! If you’ve ever wondered why you’re just not that happy or feeling stuck, read on….

Here are a few of the most common automatic negative thoughts (ANTS):

1. All or nothing thinking: Everything is black or white. Think of the words always and never. “I always mess things up “ “I never get what I want”. “I never do anything right”, “Nothing is ever good enough” “It’ll never work out”

2. Catastrophic thinking: Fixating on the worst-case scenario. “If I fail, I’ll never recover, and life will be ruined.”

3. Emotional Reasoning and/or Mind Reading: You are so sure of an outcome you actually create it. “I know she won’t go out with so I won’t even talk to her” or “I know he’s mad at me so I just ignored him”.

4. Should-ing on oneself: Feeling guilty or trying to live up to others values. “I should lose weight” “I should have studied more”. While seemingly harmless, should-ing on oneself is based in guilt or shame and keeps us stuck in a cycle of fear. It is not the same as “I want to lose weight” or “Now I’m going to study more seriously”.

5. Labeling: I’m “lazy, stupid, a terrible cook, cheap”.

6. Blaming others: Chronically being the victim; “I would have been ok if you didn’t…” “I am trying but everyone else is…” “This place is just so…”

These are just some of the biggies, but there are countless more. Any inner-talk that is telling you why you can’t do something is a limiting belief or ANT. Not ALL negative thoughts are bad. Some of them keep us safe. The key is to understand which ones are working for you and which ones are not.

The good news is, that once you understand your limiting beliefs, you don’t have to allow this negativity to rule your life! We all have a choice to either run on auto-pilot or consciously choose to boost positive thinking. The question is, do you have a true desire and willingness to look inside to improve yourself?

Have you noticed how much more energizing it is to be around positive people than negative? Negative people leave you feeling tired and depleted. Positive thinking not only feels better emotionally, it creates endorphins in the brain that make you feel better physically and open you up for bigger possibilities and creativity. Building confidence and self-esteem.

You can turn the negative thoughts that no longer serve you into positive ones that do! And, changing the way you think will change your life! Here is a practical approach to practice:

1. Awareness is the stepping stone: You can’t change anything until you know what it is you want to change. Practice thought awareness. One way to start is to pay attention to your body’s cues. How do you breathe when you have certain thoughts? What thoughts make you feel anxious? Laugh? If you want something badly, and the first thoughts you have feel depressing or give you a feeling of angst PAY ATTENTION. They are likely limiting beliefs and probably distorted lies! Listen to the “inner-voice” that is telling you why something isn’t possible. Try and figure out who is telling you that your idea isn’t good. Is it you? A friend or family member? Maybe a teacher or boss?

Try journaling. Writing down your thoughts without judgement is a great way to go deeper into them. Often when we uncover one thought we become aware of two or three more that are running behind it. Try this until you feel sure you have gotten to the “core” of the belief. This may be going back years in your life. Our childhood experiences dramatically shape our world view. What served us as children may not necessarily work for us as adults.

2. Is it really true? Does it always (or never) happen this way? Really? If it was true in the past, is it really still relevant? Who or what situations have defied this lie?

3. Consciously choose a better thought. You do have a choice. Decide on a moment-to-moment basis that you are going to stay aligned with happy and cheerful thoughts. This works better when you state them positively. Don’t tell yourself what you’re not going to do (for example: “I will not overeat”). Even if the intention is positive,

it is still a “negative” thought. State this in a positive manner, like “I only eat until I am satisfied”. Believe it or not, thinking positively will create pleasure hormones in your brain which will make you feel happier.

4. Fill up with positive, motivational and inspirational messages and people. There are a bunch of ways to do this: daily affirmations; videos; pod casts; blogs; my personal favorite is guided meditations. Focus on positive thoughts and your mind will begin to recognize and eject the negative ones easily. Surround yourself with positive people and you will naturally become more upbeat.

5. Make a conscious effort to notice how much better positive feels. There is a real domino effect that is going to take place either way. If you stay negative, you will continue to feel more and more negative. When you begin to think positively, you will create more positive situations in your life which will leave you feeling and thinking more positive again.

6. With practice, most people begin to have awareness of the underlying core issues that drive limiting beliefs. It is common to realize our negative and limiting thoughts are rooted in something deeper than the surface. Don’t be afraid of it, it is only a thought. If it feels overwhelming or you just want to connect with someone who is highly charged and positive, life-coaches are trained and experienced at helping people uncover the root causes of limiting beliefs and overcoming them.

7. If you can, minimize negative or toxic relationships – None of us need people in our lives who chronically make us feel bad about ourselves. Sometimes we can step away from them, but other times we can’t. Do your best to detach both physically and emotionally whenever possible. If you can’t remove yourself from negativity you still don’t have to let it drag you down. Try to focus on something that brings you joy.

8. Be true to yourself. We can’t make everyone happy all the time and sometimes we just have to say no. It can be hard, but it is better to say no than to lose yourself and end up resentful.

These are just a few practical suggestions that can help you lose the negative self-talk and replace it with positive thoughts. It is time to say good-bye to limiting beliefs and say hello to empowering thoughts that will enable you to feel truly happy and achieve your dreams! If you have a personal favorite strategy you’d like please share it below or email me directly at wcope@lifecoachlibrary.com.

By Wendy J. Cope – Recovery & Positive-Change Coach

About the author:

I was a rebellious teenager and at the age of 20 found myself in a recovery program for drug and alcohol addiction. That was 30 years ago and I have been passionate about the pursuit of personal-growth ever since. At one point in my recovery I felt really “stuck” and needed to do something different. That was my first encounter with coaching. I completed a 12-week program and the changes I experienced were profound. Like more than 5 years of therapy profound.

I felt inspired to become a Positive-Change Coach and later to create a platform that serves both coaches and clients. Hence, I created Life Coach Library. Educating people and getting the message to them that they CAN reach their goals while providing a practical means for great coaches to grow their businesses is what Life Coach Library is all about.

Education:

I hold a bachelor’s degree from Hawaii Pacific University in Justice Administration and I’m currently pursuing a graduate degree in professional counseling from Walden University. Later in my career, I completed a career switcher program and hold a professional teacher’s license in Virginia and Delaware. Additionally, I am a certified hypnotherapist and Reiki master. I completed my coach certification at Coach Training Alliance and I am committed to personal-growth and life-long learning .

Powerful Tips for Making Hard Decisions

Career & Business, Health & Wellness, Life Coach Library

Have you ever heard of analysis paralysis? It’s when one is so afraid of making the wrong choice that they overthink and overcomplicate something. They get stuck in limbo while the issue at hand seems to grow bigger and bigger. Some get stuck for hours, others for days or weeks!

But it doesn’t have to be that way! Below are some tips to make the process much quicker and far less mind boggling. Not every strategy will work for every situation but choose the ones that apply to you and see how much easier it is to get off the fence.

Give yourself time to think it through and get clear about what you really want

For small but important decisions, give yourself about 30 minutes to de-stress, and think through several options. For more epic decisions, it’s better to give yourself hours or even days to weight out the repercussions of your choices, and then the repercussions of them.

Research proves that stress can often destroy the ability to make great decisions. Being under pressure can kick in the fight or flight response and no one makes their best choices when they feel desperate. There isn’t enough time to think about the unintended consequences that should be factored in when making a choice.

Spend time thinking about what you really want, and why. A great strategy is to ask oneself what they want, and the what do you want as a result of that. There is no limit to how deep you can take this. Finding what is called the meta- outcome will reveal your deeper values and make coming to a decision easier. Sometimes there’s a much easier way to get to the ultimate desired outcome.

Think through your options. Are there other ways of reaching your goal?

Sometimes we do what we’ve always done simply because we’ve always done it that way. Deep down we know there is a better way, but we just don’t know what it is. When we slow down, we can see alternatives and compromises that we couldn’t in the heat of the moment. While doing something is better than doing nothing about 90% of the time, there are times when it is better to not take action at all. Consider what the outcomes will be if you do nothing at all.

Are you doing what you really WANT or what are you simply SUPPOSED TO?

Once you identify what you really want, listen to your inner “voice” and make sure you are doing what’s best for you! Sometimes we unconsciously try to please others, such as a boss, parent, or spouse, that we do something purely out of obligation. While well intentioned, making decisions based on someone else’s values is generally does not serve us.

Don’t be afraid to make a mistake

There is no such thing as a mistake if you learn from it. The fear of making a mistake can be crippling. Learning to appreciate mistakes will give you inspiration to try step out of your comfort zone and try new things.

  • Ask yourself” what is the worst-case scenario?”. Is anything ever really catastrophic? Who do you know who made mistakes before achieving success? What mistakes have you not only recovered from but thrived after?
  • Don’t attach to outcomes. Whatever you decide to do, have a playful attitude towards it. Have a sense of humor. There is an element of risk in anything we do to pursue success. Look to see how stumbling blocks spark change and growth.

Talk it through and if needed, ask for perspective

Sometimes we just need to talk-it-out with someone who is detached and will allow us the space to explore. Simply hearing ourselves “think out loud” often reveals the answers we seek. At the end of the day, the decision is yours but there are times when feedback is helpful. Just remember to be true to yourself and your values.

Wendy Cope
Recovery and Personal-Growth Coach www.healthytothecore.net

Top 5 Things Leaders Can Do to Be More Effective in Their Roles

Career & Business, Life Coach Library

Becoming an effective organizational leader starts with being the leader of your own life. Where you are in life is the result of the choices you have made along with the way. This includes health and well-being, relationships, career choices, finances, and making decisions in alignment with our values, mission and purpose. As a strong organizational leader, you must take 100% responsibility for your choices and the results you get as well. Having worked as a healthcare leader for over 25 years, I have found there are specific things leaders can do to become effective in their roles.

  1. Be laser focused on your personal, professional and organizational goals. As a leader, you are expected to deliver outstanding results. It is important to take care of yourself. Exercising, meditating and practicing mindfulness all 40 have a very positive impact on your ability to focus. Just 5 minutes a day of practicing mindfulness can bring about a sense of calm and enable you to better focus. This can easily be done between meetings. Make this practice a non-negotiable and part of your morning routine. You will be surprised at your ability to feel more in alignment with your day.
  2. Build strong relationships with your boss, direct reports and key stakeholders. Devoting time, energy, and effort to develop and build relationships is one of the most valuable skills a leader can do to be effective. Having strong relationships builds trust and credibility and is foundational to be an effective leader. From a business perspective, building strong relationships can be referred to as social capital.
  3. Lead by example. As a leader, you are always on stage. People watch what you do more than what you say. In fact, within the first 3 seconds of entering a room, you are being sized up. Credible leaders demonstrate a high degree of integrity when their words and actions are in alignment with their intentions. Walk your talk so you become a leader other want to follow. When leaders say one thing but do another, they create distrust. People follow those they trust.
  4. Invest in yourself. Pursue continuing education to remain current with industry trends, read professional journals and books, attend conferences, and find a good mentor and/or coach to help you become your professional best. If there is a gap in any management competency area, be sure to 41 address that gap with the support of a mentor and/or coach. The right coach that has walked a similar path and has enjoyed career success can change your future trajectory and make a huge difference with your career.
  5. Cultivate balance. It is fundamental to the quality of your life. In addition to your career, include dedicated time for health and well-being, family, friends and recreation. Take time off from work on a regular basis, even if it feels like you can’t. If you put all your time and effort into your career and neglect the other areas of your life, you could be putting your health at risk and compromise relationships with the most important people in your life. If your job is eliminated one day, you might look back and wonder what all of that work was for and regret the important parts of your life that bring you joy and fulfillment. Much of our internal unrest as leaders can lead back to how well we live up to our personal values, mission and purpose. The old adage is true that all the magic happens right between our two ears. Our thoughts have immense power in how we show up and how we react to our environment and stressors. Becoming a more effective leader is well within your reach by focusing on what really drives you to be your personal and professional best.

Robbie Carlson
Life and Leadership Coach
www.RobbieKCarlson.com
Robbie@robbiekcarlson.com

Making Goal Oriented Choices

Career & Business, Life Coach Library

Each day is a reminder that I am one step closer to my goals. Keeping that in mind helps me to stay on track with the choices I make.

It is easy to avoid over indulgence when I know I have financial goals. I remind myself that taking care of the important things now is paramount. I choose to celebrate after completing my outlined objectives.

The relationships I form today determine the kind of future support structure I have at my disposal. I am careful with my choice of friends. I want to surround myself with friends who have goals and aspired to achieve them.

When I find myself at a crossroad, I avoid making a choice based on my emotion of the moment. I realize how easy it is to be reactive when choosing by feelings. Instead, my choices are well contemplated.

Setting goals sometimes means sacrificing my comfort for the end result. I am content with tough decisions that yield an ideal outcome.

At this point in my life, I am happy to be a sound decision maker. My commitment to thinking things through with a focus on my goals is unwavering.

I have found that taking time to self-reflect helps me to make goal oriented choices.

Self-Reflection Questions:

  1. What person(s) can I seek help from when I have a tough choice to make?
  2. How do I know when a goal I set is likely unattainable in the desired timeframe?
  3. How long would I be able to sacrifice my comfort in pursuit of goals?

Life Coaching Works!

Clifford Aning
empowercoaching.us
clifford@empowercoaching.us

Overcoming Stumbling Blocks to Goal Achievement: It’s an Inside Job

Career & Business, Life Coach Library, Personal Growth & Spirituality

It’s the New Year, a time for new beginnings, a fresh start. Inspiring, right?

Then why do I feel defeated already?

Looking back on the past year, I wanted change, I wanted results, I had the best intentions, but everything remained pretty much the same. I’m still in the same dead end job, I’ve actually gained rather than lost weight, I abandoned my exercise routine a month after it started and I’m still a stranger to my friends and family because I do nothing but work. Why would I think anything would be different this year?

Maybe, intellectually, you understand the importance of how to approach the goal setting process but that nasty little voice in your head tells you that you are a loser, a failure, and you can’t achieve anything. While you could be struggling with the obvious, goals lack specificity (specific, measureable, achievable, relevant, time-bound, “SMART” goal method), no real commitment, inactivity, or too many goals, I suspect it could be you are dealing with an underlying belief. Like many, it is not something you can see for yourself. Being the responsible person you are, you probably tried to figure it out but became stuck, frustrated and defeated. Let’s take a look at this challenging issue and how you can get past it.

To bring about something new on the outside, like a new outcome, often requires something new on the inside, a change in attitude, paradigm or underlying belief. An underlying belief is like the pesky weed which, until pulled out from its root, continues to air its ugly head. Our weed is our limiting belief: we believe we are someone we are not, not good enough, not smart enough, too young/too old or some such disempowering label of not being enough. Until that limiting belief is discovered and removed, we may be held back from achieving our goals. For example, we may neglect to go after a job we really want because we
think we’re not smart enough to handle it so we stay stuck in a dead-end job. No matter how many may tell you how smart you are, if you have the underlying belief that you are not smart enough, it doesn’t matter what people say. You won’t believe them and it will hold you back. This limiting belief may have started years ago when you had a defining encounter, maybe failed a class, were denied application to a college, or given multiple disengaging messages from your parents. You continue to add to your disempowering story and reinforce your limiting belief whenever you encounter things you don’t understand. It completely paralyzes you from moving forward.

Another significant stumbling block for many is fear, fear of failure or even, fear of success. Some people are afraid they will fail, but even worse, that they may actually succeed and, as a result, they never take the first step toward achieving their goals. They lack belief in themselves and in their potential. If they fail, they anticipate people labeling them a failure, a loser. If they succeed, they think people may be envious and treat them differently, perhaps negatively. (Vermeeren, D 2018) They may even believe they’re unworthy of attaining the goal and, as such, sabotage themselves. I like the acronym, F E A R, Fictitious Events Appearing Real. We worry about things that may never happen and, in the process, make ourselves miserable, stuck and defeated. Believing in yourself is a choice and an attitude you develop over time. We need to take charge of our own self-concept and beliefs. Unfortunately, this is where many get stuck. Doing the internal work to ensure success is critical. It may actually take the support of a professional to help you move forward. A professional life coach is highly trained in helping clients see what they cannot see for themselves. They help clients discover and remove the limiting beliefs that hold them back from achieving their goals. They also act as a catalyst for change helping clients achieve their goals faster than they can do on their own. If you just can’t figure out where to start, consider working with a professional coach who is well trained in helping clients identify their stumbling blocks to success. A coach helps you see things you cannot see for yourself, uncovers and removes limiting beliefs that may be holding you back, and helps you become your personal and professional best. The coach-client relationship is highly confidential, tremendously supportive, totally focused on the client’s needs and all done in a convenient setting, usually by phone.

Do not give up on your goals, dreams and aspirations. When stuck, don’t beat yourself up and give yourself all kinds of disempowering messages. Silence those nasty voices in your head that have you defeated before you even start. Commit to making 2019 YOUR BEST YEAR YET!! A Professional Life Coach can make the difference for you. To experience how inspiring, supportive and helpful a life coach can be for you, consider booking a complimentary and confidential Discovery Session:
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=16511562

When working with a Life Coach, you will be absolutely amazed at what you will be able to accomplish when all roadblocks to success are removed, you are empowered and energized, successfully achieving all your goals, living the life of your dreams and, in the process, becoming your personal and professional best.

Happy New Year!
Robbie K Carlson
Life & Leadership Coach
Reference:
Vermeeren, D. (2018) “Why People Fail To Achieve Their Goals”

How to Obliterate Limiting Beliefs and Open Your Life up to New Possibilities

Career & Business, Life Coach Library, Personal Growth & Spirituality

Your limiting beliefs aren’t doing you any good. In fact, they’re keeping you from living your best life. Learn how to get rid of them! 

Our beliefs define who we are. For better or for worse, what we believe dictates our behavior, thoughts, and reactions.  

If the belief is strong enough, it can carve out our entire destiny. Limiting beliefs included! 

Our beliefs serve many purposes. They keep us safe, reflect our self-esteem, and maintain our social status. To step outside these beliefs means we risk rejection and loss. Believing we will lose something if we strive to meet a goal makes us fearful and avoidant. 

Beliefs are also kept intact because of a psychological concept is known as belief perseverance. In belief perseverance, our brains persist in weeding out evidence that contradicts our belief. Our brains focus on reinforcing memories, thoughts, and actions related to the belief while leaving out evidence to the contrary. 

Giving up a self-limiting belief isn’t easy. The unknown and the fear of being wrong is scary. These beliefs are familiar to us even when they are unhealthy or self-defeating. 

But, there is a way to obliterate self-limiting beliefs once and for all!  

If you want to live your best life and let go of limiting beliefs, then read on to discover how to let them go. 

Finding Freedom by Obliterating Limiting Beliefs 

Beliefs provide us with a sense of certainty. We all need certainty, but we also need to progress and grow in life. Explore the following ways to let go of self-limiting beliefs so you can open your life up to new possibilities.  

1. Truth and Reality 

The truth can be translated in a variety of ways. As we switch from one news channel to another, we know this to be true! One news channel focuses on one aspect of a story making it positive or neutral and the other focuses on another part of the story to make it seem negative.  

Which news channel is “right”? It depends on who you believe and what you believe already! 

To open ourselves up to other beliefs, we need to lovingly turn our attention inward. We need to gently ask ourselves questions about our limiting beliefs.  

Author Byron Katie created a method for questioning strongly held beliefs and judgments in order to accept reality. She calls it “The Work” which includes “The Four Questions.” 

These questions are: 

1. Is it true? 

2. Can you absolutely know it’s true? 

3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? 

4. Who would you be without the thought? 

The key message to Byron Katie’s questions is that we can never know for sure if one belief is absolutely true. We may believe it to be true, but that doesn’t mean it’s actually true.  

You discover this by turning around the initial statement you made using opposite statements. These statements could be about yourself, another person, or the world. When you turn around these statements, you’ll discover that they are just as truthful as your initial statement.  

We discover holes in our beliefs when we consider that other truths may be just as true, if not truer than, our original belief or judgment. When we accept that many “truths” can exist at once, we open up our minds to believe in other possibilities and discoveries.  

2. Change Your Story 

Beliefs are usually a part of a story we tell ourselves. In the case of self-limiting beliefs, these stories provide us with a detailed explanation as to why we can’t do something. 

For example, imagine a young man who believes he can’t go to college. His story says that he can’t go to college because his family can’t afford it, no one in his family went to college, and his grade average isn’t good enough. 

Imagine another young man with the exact same background who believes he must go to college because of his upbringing. What’s the difference? One used his background to form a self-limiting belief whereas the other created a story to use as fuel to overcome his struggles.  

Ask yourself how you can use the past to create a motivational story. How can your story be changed from limitation to overcoming obstacles? Has someone with the same background as you created a different ending to their story? 

Find a spark of inspiration such as another person’s story and never look back! If they believed it, so can you! 

3. Build on Success 

We normally aren’t composed of only self-limiting beliefs. We also have beliefs which have served us well! We can use these existing beliefs to give us the confidence to overcome self-limiting beliefs.  

Take out a pen and paper and write down all the times you’ve succeeded in life.  

Did you graduate from high school? Do you have a job? Are your relationships successful? 

What strength and beliefs would someone need to accomplish these tasks?  

For example, to get a job, you would have to be brave enough to apply and be qualified in some way to do the job. To graduate from high school, you would have to be persistent in getting your work done and intelligent enough to pass exams. 

Make a list of skills and beliefs needed for each accomplishment. Then return to your self-limiting beliefs. 

Have you used skills in the past that contradict your self-limiting belief? Do these skills directly contradict your limiting belief? 

For example, imagine your self-limiting belief is that you can’t lose weight because you’re not disciplined enough. Define what “being disciplined enough” looks, then turn to your list of accomplishments. 

If it’s true that you aren’t disciplined enough, then how did you graduate from high school? Going to high school means getting up early and getting homework done for four years. Would you agree that that takes discipline even if you didn’t see it as a discipline at the time? 

Perhaps the biggest problem is that your discipline “muscle” is just out of practice! Does that mean you can’t lose weight? No, it means you’re going to have to re-learn how to be disciplined so you can lose weight.  

Your belief that you can’t lose weight isn’t true, you just are out of practice in believing in yourself and following a plan.  

4. Avoid Comparisons 

When you think about your accomplishments, try not to compare yourself to others. When we compare ourselves to our peers we can instantly believe we can’t do something. The reasoning goes, “if I could, I already would have been successful like them.” 

Life, however, is not linear. The people you are comparing yourself to also may not be as successful and happy as they appear. And if they truly are, then ask them what their recipe for success is! 

We can all use someone to look up to. If they did it, then so can you! 

Obliterating Limiting Beliefs, Gaining Back Your Life 

To obliterate limiting beliefs, we must nurture our strengths. We have to feed the good in ourselves by shifting our focus and changing our stories. 

We can do this on a daily basis. We can set small, manageable goals for ourselves. We can allow the truth to overpower our beliefs by being open to other interpretations.  

It takes courage. It takes persistence. But, you made it this far in life, and that isn’t by accident.  

You made it this far in life because something inside of you believed you could. Build on that belief and you’ll open yourself up to a whole new reality. One where you believe in yourself more than you believe in your fears.  

Feel like you need a life coach to help you overcome your limiting beliefs? Find a life coach today and open your life up to endless possibilities! 

Author | WENDY COPE 

About: 

I was a rebellious teenager and at the age of 20 found myself in a recovery program for drug and alcohol addiction. That was 30 years ago and I have been passionate about the pursuit of personal-growth ever since. At one point in my recovery, I felt really “stuck” and need to do something different. That was my first encounter with coaching. I completed a 12-week program and the changes I experienced were profound. Like more than 5 years of therapy profound. 

That triggered a deep passion and desire to help others. Anyone can get “stuck” at some time in their lives. I work with people of all walk of life although my area of expertise is the recovery community. Helping people get “un-stuck” brings me deep satisfaction. I felt inspired to create a platform that serves both coaches and clients and that’s how Life Coach Library evolved. Educating people and getting the message to them that they CAN reach their goals while providing a practical means for great coaches to grow their business is what Life Coach Library is all about. 
 

Education: 

I hold a bachelor’s degree from Hawaii Pacific University in Justice Administration and have 25 graduate level credits in professional counseling from Walden University. Later in my career, I completed a career switcher program and hold a professional teacher’s license in Virginia, Delaware, and Maryland. Additionally, I am a certified hypnotherapist and reiki master. I am presently training with the Coach Training Alliance and while I will complete this module in February 2019, I am committed to personal-growth and life-long learning in the coaching profession. 

How to Unlock Your Passion and Find Your Life Purpose: It’s Never Too Late!

Career & Business, Life Coach Library, Personal Growth & Spirituality

Are you wandering around life without knowing your life purpose? That’s not truly living. Learn how to unlock your passion in this guide. 

You may be content with your life, but are you happy? 

According to the most recent findings from the Harris Poll Survey of American Happiness, the answer is most likely no. Only 33% of survey respondents reported feeling happiness. 

One of the biggest reasons why people feel unhappy is because of a lack of direction. They feel that their life has little purpose, and thus, no aim. 

While that may sound rather dour, not all hope is lost. It’s never too late to find your purpose! 

Read on below for a guide on how you can unlock your passion, reach your potential, and find your life purpose. 

Appreciate the Value of Childhood 

As we grow up, we’re told to put childish things away and grow up. To conform to society and everything we believe we’re supposed to be. 

In fact, the very idea comes about in the Bible

But what does it mean to be “childish?” Is it such a bad thing? 

It’s quite the opposite. 

Think back to when you were a child. Chances are you were quite happy most of the time. You most likely felt loved and safe and secure, living each day with a new sense of wonder. 

But as we grow up, many of us lose that sense of wonder. 

It’s a shame. Our childhood selves have so much to teach us, from exercising unbridled passion and unconditional love to the curiosity we found in even the simplest aspects of life. 

It’s time to stop quelling your inner child and get in touch with them once more. 

Start viewing life through a new lens, where creativity and curiosity rule. Let yourself be happy and the rest will flow. 

Ask the Tough Questions 

Imagine a world where you have access to anything you could ever want. Money isn’t a concern, so instead of slaving away at your 9-to-5 job, you’re off living your best life. 

What does that look like for you? What is it that you really want out of life? 

For many of us, that question is so unfathomable we may not be able to come up with an answer right away! 

If you can’t come up with anything right away, that’s alright. Give the idea space to grow. 

Congratulations, you’ve just answered one of life’s toughest questions, and as a result, you now understand your purpose and passion in life. 

Visualization may not seem like it has much power over our lives, but doctors and social scientists are discovering that visualizing success is highly influential over our decision making. 

From ‘Why?’ to ‘Why Not?’: Living a Life of Purpose 

The biggest thing holding you back from a life of purpose isn’t money. It isn’t your job. Nor is it your looks. 

It is, however, your attitude and your approach to life. It’s time to reframe your thinking into something more positive. 

For a great example of what living a ‘Why not?’ lifestyle looks like, let’s look at an unexpected source: Filmmaker, podcaster, and entrepreneur Kevin Smith. 

By all accounts, Smith could have ended up as another statistic. 

By the time his first film, “Clerks,” made the rounds at film festivals, young Smith was a film school dropout living with his parents and working a dead-end job at a convenience store to pay off his massive credit card debt. 

And then something astonishing happened. Critics and audiences loved the candid nature of “Clerks.” So much so that the distribution rights were purchased on the spot, launching Smith’s career. 

It’s because he followed his passion that he found his success. 

Years later, Smith would go on to write, “…there is little sense in not at least trying to accomplish all of your wildest dreams in life. 

Now he travels the world telling his stories and working with his friends — all because he said ‘Why not?’ to shooting a small film at the very convenience store he worked at. 

But you don’t need an award from the Cannes Film Festival to live your dream. A life of purpose is following your passion, even in the face of adversity. 

You owe it to yourself to try and follow your passion. 

Life Is Tough — Be Tougher 

You might wonder why, if a life of passion is easy to lead, more people aren’t out there living their dream. 

It boils down to an answer that tends to scare most people: Work. 

Indeed, to be happy and successful requires more — more than many expect. 

Success doesn’t happen overnight, nor does it happen in a bubble. It requires long hours, sacrifice, and above all else, drive. 

And as a result, you’ll need to be patient with yourself along the way. 

There will be days where following your dreams may seem pointless if not outright impossible. Don’t let that negativity overcome you. 

Persistence is key, even when it comes to something like unlocking your dreams. 

Be tougher than those negative thoughts telling insisting you can’t do it. Push through and do it anyway. Soon you’ll be so happy you did. 

Ask for Help 

Too many people view asking for help as a sign of weakness. 

They believe that, because they need some assistance, they’re incapable of accomplishing their dreams on their own. 

The truth, however, is that it takes a great deal of strength to ask for help. 

If you can’t seem to unlock your dreams or find your passion, there’s no harm in reaching out. 

Consider finding a life coach in your area who can offer one-on-one coaching and personalized advice. 

Finding Your Life Purpose: Final Thoughts 

Finding your life purpose is something anyone can do at any point in their life. The trick is to want it. 

If you have the desire, drive, and passion, you too can achieve your dreams. 

If you need a little help getting there, don’t forget that we can put you in touch with a life coach. 

Contact us today to learn more about finding a life coach who can help you unlock your full potential. 

Author | WENDY COPE 

About: 

I was a rebellious teenager and at the age of 20 found myself in a recovery program for drug and alcohol addiction. That was 30 years ago and I have been passionate about the pursuit of personal-growth ever since. At one point in my recovery, I felt really “stuck” and need to do something different. That was my first encounter with coaching. I completed a 12-week program and the changes I experienced were profound. Like more than 5 years of therapy profound. 

That triggered a deep passion and desire to help others. Anyone can get “stuck” at some time in their lives. I work with people of all walk of life although my area of expertise is the recovery community. Helping people get “un-stuck” brings me deep satisfaction. I felt inspired to create a platform that serves both coaches and clients and that’s how Life Coach Library evolved. Educating people and getting the message to them that they CAN reach their goals while providing a practical means for great coaches to grow their business is what Life Coach Library is all about. 
 

Education: 

I hold a bachelor’s degree from Hawaii Pacific University in Justice Administration and have 25 graduate level credits in professional counseling from Walden University. Later in my career, I completed a career switcher program and hold a professional teacher’s license in Virginia, Delaware, and Maryland. Additionally, I am a certified hypnotherapist and reiki master. I am presently training with the Coach Training Alliance and while I will complete this module in February 2019, I am committed to personal-growth and life-long learning in the coaching profession.

Is it Time to Transform Your Career?

Career & Business, Life Coach Library

Stuck, frustrated, and unfulfilled with your career? Pay attention to the signs. It might be time to transform your career. I’ve been there and transforming my career was the best thing I could have done. Make no mistake. Transforming a career is not an overnight job. It takes courage,
perseverance and hard work but it can be life changing.

Healthcare administration had been my career for 25+ years. The majority of those years, I worked closely with physicians and their teams in the ambulatory setting. I was challenged, happy and fulfilled, and I knew I was making a difference. I experienced, first hand, the care and concern shown to patients by the healthcare team. I felt a deep responsibility to the healthcare providers to make sure they were well supported, their issues addressed, and they had the proper resources. About two years ago, I decided it was time to make a change. With the direction my organization was taking, I knew it was time to move on with my career. When I no longer felt as though I was making a difference, and no longer fulfilled, I recognized it was time to make a change.

As I pondered what was next for me, I took a long, hard look at what would need to change with my career. I wanted to build on all the experiences I had while in healthcare. As I looked back at the times I was most fulfilled in my career, it was when I was coaching and mentoring leaders and those aspiring to leadership positions. Nothing was more satisfying than seeing my direct reports advancing their careers. I had an amazing career and was very fortunate to be able to advance to higher levels of responsibility, eventually, achieving a Vice President position. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I would be most fulfilled helping others achieve the same level of success as I did. It was at that point that I made the decision to transform my career from Healthcare Administrator to becoming a professional Life and Leadership Coach. I pursued a second coach training program, became certified and started my own business.

Transitioning from healthcare administrator to being a full-time life and leadership coach required a lot of planning, a significant investment in resources and time, overcoming a few challenges, perseverance and hard work. Making the decision to leave my long-term and familiar healthcare career was not a quick decision or a fast move. My survival mechanism (also known as “ego”), who tries to protect and keep me safe within my comfort zone said, “all you’ve ever really known is how to be a healthcare administrator. Do you really think you will be able support yourself as a coach?” I suspect you know what I am talking about, those nasty little
annoying voices in your head that make you question yourself.

Then, there was the upfront expense. As many of you know, pursuing an advanced education program and starting up a new business is really expensive. I questioned whether I would really see a return on my investment. What I knew for sure, though, was the payback for my
investment was the impact I would make with the clients I supported. Being a professional life and leadership coach is my calling, my higher level purpose, the difference I want to make in the world.

I have an amazing life and an amazing career. I am happy, fulfilled and totally blessed. It is incredibly important to me to make this happen for others. I’d like to share with you my lessons learned so if you are considering transforming your career, you can do so effectively. Author Camilla Sacre-Dallerup in her book, “Reinvent Me,” suggests a few key steps:

 Start with taking a very close look at your current career. What needs to change? What do you need to learn from the situation you are in now? Be honest with yourself. Remember, if we keep doing the same thing, we will get the same result. Recognizing what needs to change may be the most challenging step on your transformation journey. To help you with this first step, consider answering the following questions:

  • What would I like to reinvent about my career?
  • How is it going to make me feel once I have done it?
  • If money was not an issue, would my answer to the first question be the same or different? If different, how?
  • How will this new career bring me the fulfillment I am looking for?

Don’t get stuck on what you may perceive as barriers to your success. I’m too old to start a new career. I’ve always been in this field, how could I possibly be successful in a new one? I’m afraid of failing. Simply silence your survival mechanism and know you were meant for so much more. If you are burned out, frustrated and unfulfilled in your current role, recognize these are signs that it is time to transform your career. You know, deep within you, that you can make a difference in the world with your gifts and talents so make the effort to take the necessary steps now.

Put your goals in writing, your unwavering commitment to a better work life. It’s your plan to get from where you are to where you want to be with your career. Break down the goals into achievable parts, action steps, and milestones. Plan for the transformation from a financial perspective. It may take some time before you can actually leave one job to start another but it is definitely possible with proper planning. Sometimes a total career transformation can seem overwhelming. Remember all the times in the past when you’ve accomplished the goals you’ve set for yourself. You can apply this same inner confidence now.

Bring your new career to life. There are many techniques you can use to keep your vision and commitment alive. One particularly effective and beautiful technique I’ve used is a meditation exercise called, “Planting the seeds in the garden of opportunity,” adopted from the book, “Reinvent Me” by author Camilla Sacre-Dallerup. So, are you ready to plant your seed, your goal, in the garden of opportunity and watch it blossom? Put on your gardening gloves and take a walk with me.

  • Find a quiet spot, free from distractions.
  • Sit or lie down somewhere comfortable.
  • Close your eyes.
  • Bring your awareness to your breath.
  • Start counting as you breathe in 1, out 2, in 3 and out 4 and so on until you reach 20. Repeat this a few times until you start to feel very relaxed.
  • Now imagine that you are walking into the most beautiful garden you have ever seen. Notice all the trees, the flowers and any other surroundings. This is your garden of opportunity.
  • As you look around the garden and all its beauty, you start to realize it’s all created simply by the seeds that were planted and then nurtured. Consider for a moment that when we plant a seed in the garden, we don’t stand over it and say ‘Grow, grow, hurry up.’ No, we plant it and walk away knowing that it will grow with water, sun and air.
  • Imagine now if your goal can do the same. See yourself holding a seed in your hand that represents your goal/your dream career. Now plant it somewhere in the garden.
  • After you have planted it, sit for a minute and imagine this seed growing and blooming and turning into an amazing flower or tree, just like your goal/your dream career, blossoming and happening.
  • Imagine yourself taking action steps toward making it happen. Notice what it feels like, sounds like and looks like as you imagine doing some of these things.
  • Finally, imagine what it will feel like once you have totally transformed your career. How do you feel? Are you happy, excited, fulfilled? Just notice what you notice without judgement, and then go ahead and open your eyes knowing that you have successfully planted your seed in the garden of opportunity.

Take action. Don’t wait for life to happen to make the changes you know you want to make. Listen to your intuition that has been telling you it’s time to transform your career. Using the meditation example, ‘taking steps of action is like planting lots of seeds. Eventually you will
have a beautiful garden filled with opportunity.’

Be Present, Practice Mindfulness. When you are making significant changes in your life, such as a career transformation, it can be stressful and overwhelming. Be present, in the here and now, practice mindfulness, and think about what you can control in this moment, rather than worrying about all the other things you can’t predict. You can then allow yourself to take it one action step at a time. Practicing mindfulness can also help you reduce stress, increase your focus and direct your mind in a more healthy and positive way. One consistent step after another will get you to your goal, your new career. If your intuition is giving you a strong message that it’s time to make some changes, pay attention. If you plan appropriately, you can successfully transform your career. Don’t let another year go by sacrificing your success, joy and fulfillment. Start planning for your career transformation today.

Robbie K Carlson
Life & Leadership Coach
www.Robbiekcarlson.com

References:

Sacre-Dallerup, C. (2017), “Reinvent Me.”

Mindfulness, An Everyday Guide. Magazine, 2018

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