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I am at a crossroads in my life and I can’t make a decision
I quit my office job to follow my wife (who took early retirement) to a small rural town, where I have tried to follow my interest in photography. I am bored. I can’t make a living here. I miss having a mental challenge. I miss having a regular income. Hiking somewhere beautiful once a week is no longer enough. The nearest town is 60 miles away.
My wife has started to act emotionally abusive to me. I’m isolated and I have no one I can talk to about it. I no longer trust her with my thoughts and feelings, and yet I feel guilty over it.
I’m from another country. I haven’t visited in several years and I miss everything about it. I’m tired of feeling like an outsider all the time. I want to feel like I belong somewhere. My parents are getting old and frail. I moved here for my wife.
My life is relatively easy. We have no mortgage and can cover all bills, but not save anything. We don’t travel at all. Sometimes I hate the small town and small minds in it. I feel like I’m in jail here, but at the same time I do enjoy my hiking adventures.
If I leave and go back to my home country, I would pick a small city located near places I can hike and bike around. I would probably be a hobbyist photographer rather than a pro (I hate selling myself). I’m scared that I’ve been away from my career for too long, even though I recently took a refresher course in the software I used. I’m scared that I could find myself in my home country but broke and jobless. I’m equally scared that nothing will change here and I’ll always be miserable.