How to Build Confidence - Life Coach Library

How to Build Confidence

Why is it confident people more successful in life? The benefits of having confidence are real:

  • You’ll dream bigger dreams: When you are confident, you’re able to visualize and act. You know that worry is a waste of time and energy and rooted in fear, and you are able to overcome fear by believing in yourself. You trust yourself to make decisions and readjust as needed.
  • You’ll live a fuller life: When you believe in yourself, you’ll be more willing to try new things. It doesn’t mean that you are going to be successful at everything you try, but it does mean that deep down you know that you will be ok and if it is your project that fails, not you.
  • You’ll be viewed as wise and mature: Ironically, confidence is perceived when we stop worrying about what other people think of us. When we do, they respect us so much more.
  • You’ll become more attractive: To employers, potential partners, peers, and strangers. Beyond physical appearance, confidence exudes a magnetic energy that people are naturally attracted to.

Q: What is lacking confidence costing you?



Because when you lack confidence you don’t pursue your dreams. Translation: you’ll never get the job, girl/guy, adventure or life that you want. You’ll always settle for safe and get stuck in a comfort zone.

You will continuously compare yourself to others and either have a false sense of superiority or you always come up short. People who lack confidence either chronically find fault in others to build themselves up or live in a state of envy. Both are just plain yuck!

The biggest regret most people have in life is rooted in things they didn’t do vs. things they did do. Why didn’t they do those things? You guessed it; they lacked the confidence!

Confidence isn’t developed magically but here are some useful ways to start turning “I can’t” into “I can” right now!

  • Don’t take yourself so seriously: People often believe that what they say, do, how they look is relentlessly judged by others. The truth of it is most people are so self-absorbed they’re hardly paying attention to you, or at most a fraction of what you perceive they are. Even if they are looking at or judging you, so what? What other people think of you is none of your business. Chin-up and carry on!
  • Find yourself doing something right: If you lack confidence chances are you spend a lot of time thinking about all the things you aren’t doing good enough. Stop that! Look for the things you are doing right. If this is too much for you right now, find someone you really care about and find them doing things right. What you see in others is often a reflection of how you view yourself (Bill Hendrick, 2010). Try a positive to negative ratio of about 5-1; find 5 positive things for every 1 negative. This works for everything.
  • Make the best of the first 20 minutes every day: Science reveals that what the brain acknowledges in the first 20 minutes of being awake impacts how it will perform for the day (Safwan,2017). Most people who struggle with confidence, have a poor perception of themselves even though it’s often inaccurate. Practice visualizing a fantastic version of yourself, one where you are achieving your goals. Try reading daily affirmations or practicing mindful meditation to train your brain to think positively about yourself. If you find that your inner-voice resists believing positive things about you, write down what the negative messages are. The first step to obliterating these self-limiting beliefs is being aware of what they are. From there you can question their validity and start to replace them with empowering thoughts.
  • Surround yourself with confident and positive people: Being around confident people will modal confident behaviors and their positive energy can be contagious if you let it. We all have people in our lives that are negative and overly critical. Sometimes we don’t have the choice to sever ties with them. In those cases, try and detach and just know that their lack of confidence is hurting them, but it doesn’t have to hurt you.
  • Try new things: Stop hiding in a comfort zone, that only keeps you stuck and diminishes confidence. Instead of always doing what you are good at, try something you know you aren’t. It will be uncomfortable at first, but you will be surprised at how good it feels after. No one is saying you should do something that terrifies you, but step just outside of your comfort zone and you will develop a stronger ego and sense of pride.

The best way to overcome fear is to grab the bull by the horns and face it head-on. Do something that scares you every day and you’ll gain confidence from every experience. Challenge yourself by signing up for a dance class, throwing a small party, or applying for a job you are nervous about! Whatever it is that delights but scares you, just go for it!

  • Eat well and get regular exercise: So maybe your mom told you to eat your veggies because they’re good for your body, but did she mention they are good for your career too? In short, proper nutrition and regular keep the body in a state of homeostasis, which basically means “stable”. Realize it or not, when we are not in homeostasis, or “stable”, our body chemistry directly affects our moods, thoughts, and behavior. All of these are factors in our confidence, and as discussed earlier, affects every area of our life. This doesn’t mean you have to go train for a marathon or get on some fad diet, quite the opposite. However, if your wellness plan needs to be improved, eliminating some junk foods and taking a brisk walk will make you feel like a new you.
  • Be kind: I truly believe that the road to confidence and true self-worth is paved by being the best person I can be. We all get to define what that means to ourselves but allowing others to just “be” permits us to just “be”. Having confidence doesn’t mean that we think we are perfect; it means we know we are perfectly imperfect.

Final thoughts:

Everyone struggles with confidence issues at one time or another. When chronic feelings of fear or not being good enough interfere with living our best lives, it’s time to get our arms around it and change our thinking. We hope you find these tips helpful! If you feel like you’re ready to be proactive in building confidence and achieving your goals, breaking through limiting beliefs and overcoming negative thinking is what life-coaches specialize in. You can try here, risk-free!

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