…then we’d never end up“losing ourselves”
First of all, losing oneself isn’t always a bad thing.
Sometimes plans just go awry. We take risks and try new things and it just doesn’t turn out as we hoped. Kudo’s to us for living in line with our passions. Taking risks in life is part of what makes us feel alive. It can be what separates the meek and the confident, the complacent and the ambitious, the safe and the successful. If you’re feeling lost and this is why, you don’t need me to tell you to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and carry on, you know that and hopefully are ready to do just that.
However, if you’re reading this and when you reflect on your life, you’re wondering who you’ve become because it somehow isn’t who you want to be, this is for you.
What does it mean to have “lost” oneself?
It happens. We start living on autopilot, going through the motions of life without realizing we’ve abandoned our desire to manifest greatness. Dreams and passions that once inspired us are now washed-up and faded ideas that exist somewhere else. We are no longer driven by inspiration, but by security and comfort.
We start to feel lost because we have simply “parked” in life. We work just hard enough to not get fired, earn enough to just get by, cherish relationships just enough to not lose them, take care of ourselves just enough to not get sick…. We just survive life but hardly thrive (Les Brown).
Sometimes we get stuck in the past. Maybe things were wonderful, and we are holding on to the nostalgia; maybe they were horrible and we haven’t worked through the pain, or maybe they are simply familiar and a false sense of security and control exists when the present is so unpredictable. Whatever the reason is, yesterday is gone and if we are not present in the NOW, we are missing out because the world that keeps moving with or without us.
There are also situations when we show up for the now but are living based on what other people believe is right. We married the person our family would approve of, we entered a career path based purely on financial stability, our hobbies are chosen by what level of social acceptance they have. Most of the time, we don’t even know that the “opinions” running in the background of our choice aren’t even ours until we slow down. When we do, it is an epiphany that the inner voices we are listening to are those of parents, teachers, friends, but not our own. We go through life doing exactly what’s expected of us and eventually, it overwhelms (PsychAlive).
In short, people become lost in life is because they have disconnected from their hearts and souls. They pay too much attention to their rational minds, and to what everyone else has to say, and they can no longer hear the voices of their hearts, nor can they connect to the wisdom of their souls.
Why life is so much better after you find yourself?
You wake up one day and you ask yourself, how did I get here? I had plans and dreams and goals, this is not what I wanted. It’s ok, you have to get lost at times, it’s part of the self-discovery process (Psychology Today). The most worthwhile adventure of our lives is discovering who we really are. When we find ourselves on the deepest level it profoundly changes how we experience life.
12 things that happen when we live authentically:
1. We gain confidence, self-esteem and a sense of happiness.
2. We experience a profound sense of inner peace
3. We trust our judgment and are not afraid to make mistakes
4. We take on new challenges because they are gratifying
5. We become whole and realize the true happiness comes from being part of something bigger than oneself.
6. Loneliness and emptiness disappear
7. We have the energy for what we want because we aren’t exhausting ourselves pleasing others
8. We begin to feel optimistic and are ready to move forward, no matter how stuck we were.
9. Our passions are ignited; we are living on purpose.
11. We become the best version of ourselves: the best spouse, parent, sibling, co-worker, etc., which automatically improves our relationships.
12. Because like attracts like and we begin to surround ourselves with the right people who support us.
How a Life Coach Can Help
A life coach is one of the best resources for those who feel lost. A coach is trained to help you to manifest what you want in your life, identify what stumbling blocks are holding you back and help you develop useful strategies for self-improvement.
They will offer you an unbiased and fresh perspective by asking important questions aimed at helping you find your answers. They will collaborate with you to support you through transition, keep you motivated and hold you accountable while providing tools to help you grow and stay true to yourself.
If you’re ready to experience coaching risk-free, register with Life Coach Library and receive up to 3 complimentary coaching sessions.
One of the greatest satisfactions we can ever know is to discover who we truly are and live authentically. Too many people go from cradle to grave without experiencing this joy. We confuse self-understanding with self-indulgence, and never really know: Who am I really?
Finding yourself may sound like psychobabble or a being self-absorbed but our understanding of ourselves is the basis of every decision we make in life. It’s a matter of recognizing our personal power and limitations.
To know and embracing one’s authentic self is to truly find inner peace and happiness.
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