Can you believe there are only a few weeks left before the New Year is upon us? Is your life today as you hoped it would be this time last year? Have you kept your New Year’s promises and made the changes you were so enthusiastic about? Or, are you amongst the many who wanted change, wanted results, had powerful intentions, but once again, didn’t go the distance and are back at square one?
The definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results,” Albert Einstein. The truth is, if you want change, it’s you that needs to change. No one is saying this is easy; old habits and old beliefs die hard. The key to powerful, lasting change is having a clear vision and setting compelling goals.
Even though most people understand goal setting on a rational level, a whopping 80% of people never set clearly defined goals. If that’s not bad enough, of the 20% who do set goals, nearly 70% of them never reach them. Why not? There are several possible reasons. Sometimes there are outside circumstances that they genuinely have no control over. Still, the reality of it is the biggest obstacle to reaching the personal and professional growth we aspire to lives between your ears. The typical culprits are lack of commitment, inactivity, or perhaps having too many goals. But even if these things are in perfect order, you could still miss the mark.
- You need a change in attitude and to address self-limiting beliefs: Using the same thinking that got you “here” isn’t going to get out. When you want something new on the outside, you need to create something new on the inside. Most of our thought process runs in the unconscious, and that’s is where many damaging thoughts camp out. Think of these limiting beliefs as pesky weeds which, until pulled out from their root, keep coming back and airing their ugly head. Typical examples are believing you’re someone you’re not; you’re not good enough, not smart enough, too young/too old, or some such disempowering label. Until that limiting belief is discovered and replaced with something positive and empowering, you are set up for failure.
- You fear failure, or even worse, you fear success: Some people are afraid they will fail, but the fear of success undermines even more people. If they fail, they anticipate people labeling them a failure or a loser. If they succeed, they think people may be envious and treat them differently, perhaps negatively or that they can’t keep up the pace and will humiliate themselves. As cliché as it may be, deep down, they might believe they’re unworthy of attaining the goal and, consciously or unconsciously sabotage themselves. Either way, if you lack faith yourself and your potential, why would you even invest your energy and make the kind of non-negotiable commitment needed for success? If you can’t give everything you’ve got, what can you expect to get back?
- You’re not being true to yourself, and there is a conflict with your core values and/or life purpose. Are you doing what you are passionate about or what you think you should be doing? Are you trying to please yourself or someone else? Get clear about your core values and life purpose because they will serve as a compass, pointing out what it means to be true to yourself. If you are living in conflict with your core values, you create stress, like running against the wind or trying to swim against the current. It leads to frustration and disenchantment. When you live “on purpose,” you will be amazed how easily things can fall into place. You still have to work hard and very hard at that. However, your motivation will be stronger and last longer because you are doing what you love to do, what you are good at, and accomplishing what is important to you. You are making a difference in the world. These are the key ingredients to finding success, joy, and fulfillment.
The most common characteristic amongst successful people is the ability to take 100% responsibility for their lives, including their achievements, the results they produce, the quality of their relationships, their health and well- being, their income, and everything else. They are goal-oriented and take action. When stuck, they don’t blame people, places or circumstances, they reassess and readjust and keep going. Even if things do not go as they hoped, they do not feed themselves the lies ‘I am a loser, I am a failure, or I can’t achieve anything.’ They redefine their failure as a success by looking at the reality of the situation, learning from it, and pressing on.
While no one can create your success but you, you’d don’t have to do it alone. If you’re ready to go all the way and move past your fears, consider reaching out to a professional coach. Overcoming the limiting beliefs that interfere with success is what life coaches specialize in.
Reach out and receive a free consultation to experience the impact a coach can have!
Written and submitted by:
Professional Life and Leadership Coach
“Helping women leaders create successful careers and extraordinary lives.”