Recovery - Codependency | Life Coach Library

Recovery – Codependency

Characteristics of Codependency

Summarized from AL Anon literature

  1. Feeling responsible for solving others’ problems, believing they are incapable of making the right decisions and that their (the codependents) help is needed.
  2. Offering advice to others even when they didn’t ask for it.
  3. Making excuses for others bad behavior. They feel responsible for others behaviors and will rationalize to explain others poor behavior.
  4. Unclear personal boundaries. They want others to follow their advice and often need others to validate what they are doing.
  5. Try to control others by manipulation, shame or guilt. This is an attempt to control outcomes and compliance.
  6. Typically feels used and under-appreciated. The codependent will expend enormous amounts of taking care of others and feels resentful when it is not appreciated.
  7. Feeling like a victim. Things are always happening to them.
  8. People pleasing to gain affirmation. Their self-worth is usually tied to the approval of others.
  9. Taking everything personally. They believe even the slightest of remarks or gestures reflect on them.
  10. Fearing rejection and being unlovable. The codependent is often a perfectionist, fearing if they are not successful at everything, they will be unlovable and rejected.
  11. Avoid confrontation.
  12. Have difficulty asking for help.
  13. Put others needs in front of their own.
  14. Accept abusive and negligent behaviors.
  15. Suffer from low self-esteem, feel shame if mistakes are made.

Inner/Adult Child Syndrome and Co-Dependency Explained

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