Forget your New Year’s resolution (chances are you have already). How about merely deciding and committing to set and reach your goals? With cupid flying around why not set some relationship goals?
2020 is well underway, and at best, a few of you are on track to reach your resolutions. Some of you are re-negotiating your plan of action, but a large percentage of you are having trouble remembering what that resolution even was.
Whatever your goal is or was, chances are you’re “why” comes down to LOVE. Whether it is self-love, love for your significant other, or you would just love to find someone to love, Valentine’s day is right around the corner, and it seems to be all anyone is talking about.
Human beings are designed to be social creatures, yet navigating healthy human relationships remains one of the most complex and challenging tasks in life (Leon F. Seltlzer, PhD).
Why are healthy relationships so important?
We all need healthy and loving relationships to function properly in life. Poor connections can bring us down and have an impact on our career, social life, and even our health.
More than that, if you are serious about your partner, if you love them and if you want to spend the rest of your life with them, maybe your most important goal for this year should be to work on building a healthy relationship with them. It’s easy to get complacent in any area of life, and relationships certainly are no exception.
Ignite romantic passion in your life! It will take some planning and effort; it is so worth it in the end.
Go on Fun Date Nights:
You NEED to have confirmed date nights with your partner. Remember when you first started dating? The excitement of getting ready and the anticipation of seeing each other was exhilarating. It’s easy to get caught up in the tasks of daily living and forget just to play together. Dinner and movies are great, but I’m willing to bet if you’ve been on enough of these dates that there is no excitement or novelty left in them. Are you the romantic type? Trade the restaurant for a tour of a vineyard or winery. Many offer samples that will help get your romantic juices flowing 😊 If weather permits, go on a picnic. If it doesn’t, pack a picnic anyway and have one indoors. Finger foods that you can feed each other and creatively make and clean messes with are great for this.
For the more adventurous type: Go to an amusement park or try simulated skydiving. If you’re really adventurous, do the real thing!
Take a walk down memory lane together, remembering the things about each other you were first attracted to. Try a couples’ massages or take turns giving to each other. Whatever you do, just make sure to do something both of you enjoy! It can even be something as simple as cooking a nice meal together or going to the mall for an evening. Whatever works best for both of you!
Change up your sex life!
Remember the hot, steamy times you spent with one another when you first met? You couldn’t get enough of each other. It seemed like things would never get boring – but then you get too familiar, life gets busy, and next thing you know, you’re scheduling it on your calendar, hoping your calendars are in sync. And then it is as predictable as a multiple-choice quiz with a, b, or c as the only possibilities. Don’t be that couple. Good sex is the best way to maintain a connection with your partner.
The best way to reignite the fire is to focus on your partner and ensure you can meet all their desires. When is the last time you opened up to one another to talk about what you’d like to want to experience? Keep an open mind. Dozens of legitimate websites can offer creative ideas and do a much better job of it than I can here. I urge you to keep an open mind, not to be judgmental, and explore each other’s desires and fantasies. The goal is to explore and connect with your partner again.
Thank one another:
Gratitude increases happiness and improves relationships (Read: Gratitude for Happiness). All relationships come to a stage where we get comfortable with one another – possibly too comfortable. The little things we did for each other in the beginning get taken for granted, and we either stop doing them altogether or come to accept it as part of the relationship.
Start thanking your partner. Maybe they did something grand like take you on holiday, or simple like preparing a nice meal. Perhaps they let you choose the movie or they were just patient and listened to you rant about a crappy day at work. Thank them for both the things that they do and being the person that they are. Never take the relationship for granted. Saying thank you for something simple shows is sometimes more meaningful than the bigger and more obvious things.
Start appreciating the little things you will immediately see a positive reaction!
Never stop trying to be a better you:
Work on eliminating one bad habit. We all have pet peeves and so does your partner!
No one is perfect, and we all have bad habits that someone else finds annoying. If you have been in a long-term relationship, you will find a lot of things downright irritating in the other person!
The problem is, we take our partners for granted and don’t even think about working on ending some of our bad habits they don’t like. The mantra ‘they should accept us for who we are’ has gone too far nowadays. There’s a difference between changing something about yourself because you want them to love you and doing it because you love them. When you love someone, you want to put some work into this relationship.
Do you drive her nuts by leaving the toilet seat up? Make a conscious effort to put it down. Put a post-it note on the wall if it helps.
Do you drive him nuts by talking his ear off as soon as he gets home? Please take a few breaths and let him relax in whatever way he likes to most.
Some habits can be changed easily, others not so fast. For the tougher ones, even small steps that show respect for your partners’ wishes will send a strong message.
They will notice the effort you put in, and you will love the compliments!
Imagine if you can completely transform your relationship and have something money alone can never buy? A New Year’s goal of having a healthy relationship might be challenging, but it will be the most rewarding as well.
Ready to take all of your relationships to the next level and improve your professional, romantic, and social life? Try working with a relationship coach. Life Coach Library makes it convenient and risk- free to experience life-coaching!