law of attraction Archives | Life Coach Library

Are You a Victim or a Creator?

Health & Wellness, Personal Growth
live your best life

By Sophie Fuzi, Holistic Life Coach

There are two significant mindsets that we build our worldview on: We are either The Victim or The Creator

Since childhood, my passion was to have self-awareness and how life shaped me and also to talk to people from all walks of life to learn about their thoughts, motivations, desires, and fears so that I could see how experiences changed them.  The more people I talked to and the more I learned about them, it became evident that the main difference between someone who turns their dreams into reality and people who are stuck with their life is their attitude.   How people interpret the events of their life becomes their beliefs, and their beliefs are what determine if they will live their dreams or not.  To put it simply: Are you a victim or a creator?

How do victims see the world?

overcome victim mentality with professional life coaching
Victim mentality can be crippling.

The Victims believe that they are the sufferer of their circumstances and do not have the power to bring about a change in their world. When it comes to their problems,  they blame politicians, family, country, the media, or anything outside of them.   They are unhappy with their lives, but it is someone or something else’s fault.  The truth is they are happy to feed on others’ attention as they complain, and they feel comfortable to stick to this stage.  Blaming others is easy and requires no effort.

How do creators see the world?

law of creation

 The Creators, on the other hand, understand that, to a large degree, they are in control of their lives.  They don’t blame others for their shortcomings or wallow in self-pity when things don’t go their way.  They   analyse and observe their difficulties from all angles and are willing to change their perspective and behaviours  to get closer to success.

 The Creators don’t get stuck by taking everything personally,  they can detach themselves from the level of ego and, through their continuous observations grow their understanding of the connectedness of life on a deeper level with their experience. 

Why is perspective so important?

 The reason why I place this as the most important lesson that I have learned in life is that: The quality of our lives depends on which of these two positions we take most.

Victims often find themselves in a pattern where every day feels the same, and life seems to be passing them by.   Time goes by, and they feel like nothing has been accomplished or achieved.  They have excuse after excuse but not one legitimate reason.   

On the other hand,  the Creators choose to be proactive.  They learn to take the lead of their life and “sail their own boat” in the direction they want to explore.    Therefore they are full of experiences that fulfill their desires at that moment in time.

How can you become a creator in your life

What is the key element to step into the Creator mindset? To mature and take responsibility for one’s decisions and the consequences that come with them. It is not always easy to take responsibility but that is the difference between the victim and the creator. 

Believe that your life is created by the decisions you make.

Sometimes the smallest choice that we pick out of the many creates the biggest effect on our life: For no reason, you decide to take a different route to work, which creates a whole different path for the day.  If you took your normal road, you could have been a fatal accident, but since you didn’t, you arrive safely.

Many people talk about listening to their intuition, and it somehow saved their life or created for some amazing circumstances which never would have happened otherwise. The opposite can also happen when a  seemingly small choice leads to misfortune.

These types of choices are not the ones we actively have control of.  They are a matter of the ‘laws of nature’ or fate.  

Our habits, the decisions we make every day are the ones that shape our reality.  When we continuously eat more calories than we use up, it is almost sure that we will gain weight over time. If we put effort into learning something new, this skill will evolve and grow over time. If we drive recklessly, we have an increased chance of getting into legal troubles,  having an accident, killing someone else, or dying ourselves.  

Regardless of what we choose in our daily life, we shape our world. Each decision adds to our future, whether it’s going to blossom with new opportunities or feeling beat up by life, becoming tired and moody.

So how do you know how to make tough decisions?

  • Use your common sense!

There are so many outcomes that you can predict if you look at your choices by adding your common sense to it! We dislike using that part of our sensibility because many times, it goes against our desires, and we ‘want to control an outcome’ so we overlook logic and reason and focus on emotion.

  • You can’t fill an inner void with outer things.

The ego runs in a continuous loop that keeps telling us we need things (outside of us) to finally become happy/successful/content/etc… but it never seems to last very long. So we keep creating cycles when we run after stuff/goals to achieve to make ourselves feel good within ourselves because we aren’t present with ourselves and grateful at this present moment. When it is the case, we can never succeed the way we want to because the only thing how we can fill our internal void is to turn to ourselves.

  • Use your intuition!

Trust yourself.  When you have an intense sensation within you about what you should choose to do it is usually in alignment with the deepest parts of you.  This will create positive changes in your life in the long term. Sometimes what we sense on this level seems illogical but somehow, these deep internal suggestions connect us with those events we wish to experience.  

  • Understand what you want and why you want it!

Sounds very obvious, and still, many of us can only articulate what we do not wish to have and experience in our world. Only when we know what we want and what it means to us, we can choose the choices that take us closer to get there.

No wind supports a sailor who doesn’t know where he wants to go or only knows where he does not want to end up.

It is not what you find in life, but what you make out of it what matters!

I have heard once that the best chef is one who can make a tasty dish out of the ingredients he finds at home. I agree, and I love to apply this method in my world. We like to believe what we have is not enough to create something amazing, so we keep looking outside. But the thing is that all of us already have enough to create something extraordinary! I believe that bringing the best out of what we already have is the attitude that can serve us best in the world to keep ourselves not only grateful but also inventive and open-minded when it is about new elements that come to our world.

It is easy to get lost in the options that are in front of us if we have no idea what are the things that really “float your boat” or what “crumbles your cookies.”  We all have heard stories about lottery winners who found themselves miserable, or talented people who wasted their life getting sucked into addictions, or people who have incredible luck and opportunity but were too damn afraid to take it.  

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, on things they don’t need, to impress people they don’t like”  Will Rogers

 

Because no amount of money can help a person to become truly happy if they can’t connect with others, or have low self-esteem, or no real sense of purpose to live an authentic life.  For this person, money is only lending them an illusion that is attractive to others, but it is a temporary fix to a deeper, permanent problem.

Money can be wonderful; the difference is that a truly happy person does not connect their self-worth or their deep fulfillment to the money or material things.  A balanced person relies on his personal skills and capacities as a priority to create their life and can creatively make use of the elements that are in his surroundings. They do not get scared if he needs a doorstop but doesn’t have one; instead, they look around and find something that will serve the purpose and continues the project.

In short, when we know what we are doing and why we are doing it, the world provides us an easy way to fulfill our desires. All we need to do is to open our senses and notice them!

 ‘How  can you be fully in peace with who you are at this moment in time?’

There is no better question to ask when turning from victim to creator. 

learn the art of self love

It all boils down to self-acceptance.   This isn’t the kind of self-acceptance you proclaim to your therapist when they ask you, ‘Do you love yourself?’.  In which case, of course, you say ‘Yes!’.

By true self-acceptance, I mean when your heart is fully involved, and you have no lumps and bumps regarding this question on the level of feelings and sensation.

Self-love is not a face-mask with a never-ending smile or a continuous can-do attitude.

 It is the deep and peaceful inhalation and exhalation about our existence. 

It is having an awareness of our strengths and weaknesses with knowing that everything is as it should be here and now while experiencing inner-peace.

                The real self-acceptance is very difficult because

  1. We were conditioned to believe that we must act in specific ways to have the acceptance/love/care of others.
  2. We continuously compare ourselves to the standards set by the world, forgetting that we see only the best of others and compare it to the worst of ourselves.

Read: Looking at Life Through a Lens of Self-Love

The person who embraces themselves ignores the opinions of the world and listens and acts to their inner voice. They are aware there may be negativity, but they do not let that negativity determine their dreams and desires. They do not act according to other’s standards or view themselves through other’s lenses.  Their state of being comes from their heart over their head, and they feel connected to their core and authentic being.  

How does low self-acceptance influence your decisions?

Here are two examples:

overcome limiting beliefs

Beliefs:

  • When you have a negative and unrealistic image about yourself, it affects your decisions. For instance, you wish you could learn to dance, but you are shy because you think that your moves are gawky, so you talk yourself out of taking lessons.  

Feelings:

  • When you have low self-esteem, it is tough to let go of a relationship that does not give you value any longer.  Why? First, you are likely feeding off each others’ energy, and you are scared to be alone. 
  • In healthy relationships, you stay because you WANT to be there and not because you NEED to be, or are afraid to not be.  
how to achieve goals

Your interpretation of life events:

People with low self-acceptance tend to project their insecurities in their body language, speech patterns, and social skills.   Everything they hear, see, and experience must pass through a “negative” filter and ends up being interpreted in a negative way that will mirror the same negative feelings that they have.  

With healthy esteem, they see the world for what it is.  They can observe events without internalizing them or taking them personally and emotionally.   They learn from things that go awry and revise their strategy to adapt to reality.  

The state of our self-acceptance is within all of our actions/reactions and determines how we act.  We can choose to settle for less than what we dream of OR we can dare to go for it and allow ourselves to enjoy our world by living true to ourselves.   This is much better than choosing to never measure up to other’s standards and go through life with the weight of the world placed on our back.

Embracing yourself fully from your heart is the entrance for creating a quality life for yourself where you enjoy your creations. No work for this is a waste of time!

learn to laugh at yourself

Oh, and one last thing…..

Don’t forget to laugh!

Becoming an adult is not easy and being one isn’t either!

With several responsibilities such as family, work, friends, etc… on our shoulders, it is easy to get stuck in a rut.  Don’t let life become a heavy burden.  Remember to have fun and enjoy the experience.   Be a creator, but don’t forget to enjoy the silly little ways of life that are non-sense and holds no weight in their results. 

Blow soap-bubbles with your kids, or make up funny stories with them and laugh together! Go to a comedy show, or watch a movie that makes you laugh with your partner, then talk gibberish while you tickle them in the bed!

Most importantly, don’t take yourself too seriously.   Remember to laugh at anything, especially at yourself sometimes! The world will keep spinning, no matter what.

About Sophie Fuzi, Holistic Life Coach

From Hungary, ‘Be Real! Life Coaching’ has been her dream her whole life. Always interested in learning how people make sense of the world and form their adult perspectives, she believes the key to true happiness lies in fully accepting oneself exactly as they are. 

Book Recommendations

atomic habits
Create good habits, break bad ones, and get 1% better every day!
Whole Again
Toxic relationships leave scars. This book shows how to work through these symptoms and find love on the other side.

Break Free of the “Inner-child” (adult-child) Syndrome

Personal Growth, Recovery
limiting beiefs and inner child

Weed-out the faulty & limiting beliefs that do not serve you!

What is “the inner-child” and the “inner-child syndrome”?

A term coined initially by famous psychoanalyst, Carl Jung, the “inner-child” refers to the belief systems that are developed in childhood.  It is easy to grasp the idea that everyone’s belief systems are rooted mainly in childhood; after all, everyone learns about the world primarily from their parents. 

The “inner-child syndrome” refers to a term used to describe the dysfunctional or destructive behaviors that continue in some people’s adult lives.  These behavior patterns that occur as a direct result of thoughts and beliefs that run automatically or unconsciously.  Those thoughts come directly from childhood development (Steven Diamond, Ph.D.).

What are the issues associated with having limiting beliefs or “inner-child syndrome”?

There are numerous ways this can manifest in one’s life.  For the most concise list, I would like to refer you to The Laundry List of Adult-Children Of Alcoholics.  This compilation was originally written for children raised in alcoholic environments; however, psychologists recognize these traits as typical amongst various populations.   The mutual attributes being any form of abuse, neglect, or mental illness present in the home. 

For this article, I would like to focus on what I call living on “repeat”.   What I mean by that is often, as adults, we find ourselves in the same type of situation over and over and over.  

For example:

  • Getting out of a bad relationship, only to find ourselves in another lousy relationship
  • Getting out of debt only to rack up new debts
  • Losing and regaining the same 20 pounds repeatedly
  • Being taken advantage of by others again and again
  • Thinking you’ll be happy “if” (something changes) or “when” (something happens), only to realize that you’re no happier when those things occur.

…..there are countless other scenarios.

“We learn our belief systems as tiny children, and then we move through life, creating experiences to match our beliefs. Look back in your own life and notice how often you have gone through the same experience.”

You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise L. Hay

Why is it essential to revisit childhood to overcome limiting-beliefs and heal the inner-child?

Why can’t the past be the past? Because ultimately, at the root of living on “repeat” are unconscious limiting-beliefs that inform every thought, action, and therefore result in what we create in our life. 

With spring right around the corner, I will use planting a garden as an analogy to explain the importance of weeding out self-limiting and damaging beliefs so that adult-children can live fuller happier lives. .

You can’t change anything until you know what it is you are trying to change: Identify the Weeds

I am not a green-thumb by anyone’s standard, but you don’t have to have a degree in horticulture to understand that a critical step in growing a beautiful garden is to get rid of all of the weeds.

For the most part, weeds are just another type of plant that is growing in the wrong place. Some plants look like they could be weeds but aren’t.  Conversely, many weeds look like they could be plants. The belief system of an adult-child is quite similar.

Most weeds are harmless, but they just look ugly.   Then, some weeds are literally poisonous and will wreak havoc and destroy your flowerbed.   There are even some that are dangerous to other living creatures. They might be pesky to deal with, but wishing them away or ignoring them will not make them disappear. Neither will pretending it is a plant help it to result in beautiful spring tulips.  In fact, that sounds downright silly, doesn’t it?

One can also convince themselves that dandelions are harmless, and there is no use in working on getting rid of them.   That may be true, but the end result is accepting a second-rate garden.  Understating  the seriousness of a bishops weed could result in severe illness or death to a beloved pet.

So, even a wannabe gardener like me can wrap their head around the idea that the only way to get rid of them is to pull them out by their root; otherwise, they will just grow back and start the cycle all over again.

The Journey to Growing

To deeply heal the “inner-child syndrome” and overcome limiting beliefs, a couple of things have to happen so the journey can begin: 

One must look back to what went wrong in childhood, particularly in the early (birth to 7 or 8 years) childhood.   This does not mean they have to relive the experiences and “become” the emotions, but rather observe what happened with adult eyes to understand what happened and replace old damaging beliefs with new and empowering ones.  A great way to do this without reliving the pain is using an NLP technique called Association and Disassociation. 

Life Coaching for Less than a Latte: Crush Self-doubt and Unleash Confidence the workbook

For the wounded-child to begin to heal, it is critical to get it through to one’s core that what happened in the past was NOT THEIR FAULT.   I cannot stress that enough.   I have worked with many clients who intellectually know that events in their lives weren’t their fault but, on an emotional and even spiritual level, carried some guilt and shame.  At the core of their being, they got the message that if they were somehow better, smarter, quieter, cuter, etc., that mommy or daddy would have acted differently and real or perceived, they believed it.    

Awareness is the stepping-stone to change:  Once we are aware the real cause of “adult-child syndrome” is bad programming, we have two choices.  We can consciously decide to stop the denial; to stop hiding from the pain; to stop lying to ourselves;

OR we can perpetuate the narrative that everything is ok and believe that the same thinking that created chaos in our lives can somehow fix it, ultimately continuing to repeat the cycle of misery repeat again and again and again.  

That may sound harsh, but those are the two choices.

Fortunately, there is freedom in accepting this as reality.  It takes so much energy to try and “pretend” everything is OK when intuitively, we believe something is awry.   The effort it takes to attempt to control outward appearances (and seem “normal”) is exhausting and keeps us from using that same precious energy in pursuing our dreams.

Uncovering the damaging lies (weeds) that do not serve you anymore allows you to replace them with empowering truths (lilies) that will help you manifest the life you desire and deserve.    It is then that life begins to bloom.

You may like: The Dis-Ease of “Not-Enough”

Change is possible, but it is not always easy to do it alone.  If you think you have characteristics of the “inner-child” and would like support in weeding out these faulty beliefs, why not try working with a professional Life-Coach?   Life coaches are trained at helping their clients overcome limiting beliefs and moving forward with their lives.  There are times when a psychotherapist is more appropriate than a life coach.   If the wounds of the “inner-child” are still very raw and painful, a therapist is a better choice as they will provide an environment conducive to healing.   If you are ready to move forward and need to breakthrough old blockages, a coach can be a game-changer in your life.   Life Coach Library makes it convenient to find the best coach for you, and the process is risk-free!

Ring Ring Your Life is Calling: find your true calling in life

Career & Business, Personal Growth
stop procrastination

Realize it or not, we all experience a sense of passion and purpose at some time in our lives. Think back to when you were a child and had an unfiltered interest in a game or toy.  Maybe you played a musical instrument or lost yourself in arts and crafts.  

Finding a passionate purpose in your adult life is not so different from this.  We resonate with a vision of possibility.  It may start seemingly ordinary, but as we lean into it, the possibilities seem endless, and it takes on a life of its own. The clearer we can see the vision, the more doors to new opportunities appear, and our vision becomes deeply meaningful. 

Living authentically frees you to turn possibility into reality. 

Are you living in line with your authentic self?  Do you do what is meaningful and inspiring to you? Are you achieving the results you want in your life? Do you feel fully alive? How much do you wholeheartedly engage and enjoy each moment, no matter where you are or what you are doing?   How you live one day is how you live your life. The answers to these probing questions define it.

You’ll have more confidence and self-respect; you’ll feel better knowing your strengths and weaknesses in a true and accurate measure; you’ll be more optimistic and be ready to forward, even if you’ve felt stuck in the past.

When you ignite your passion, you procrastinate less and have more drive; your relationships will improve because you being the best version of you. 

Uncover your true passion and purpose

It starts with a vision.

Allow yourself some time to quiet the mind and slow down the chaos of everyday life.  Ask yourself: What do I want? What makes me happy? What am I passionate about? Don’t filter your answers.  The answers you seek exist inside of you if you’re willing to listen.  It can take time, so don’t try and hurry the process.

Pay attention to shifts in your thought process.


You’ll start to notice your mental energy flowing towards unraveling what it is that you truly are meant to be or do.  You’ll be amazed as you begin to attract the elements that resonate with your calling.  It will be as if life is calling you on your own personal telephone, you just need to answer the phone. 

As ideas come to you, imagine that you are already living your ideal life.   Close your eyes and as if you are watching a movie starring yourself, fill in all the details with vibrant color; hear the sounds of success; feel the satisfaction and joy that comes with it.
 

It takes consistent vigilance

To manifest situations that provide the opportunities you desire, you must maintain focus on the end-goal.  Spend time each day doing even the smallest thing that is consistent with someone who already has or is what they desire.   Be selfish with your time and not get distracted, even if only for 15 minutes. Make this time yours without negotiation and be willing to repeat it again and again.

Ask for Help

You will always have to do “it” yourself, but you never have to do it alone.  Find a trusted confidante to run your ideas by.  Try to find someone who will support you without judgment.  That someone should also be living in line with their true passion and purpose.  Inner vision can take time to activate, and it’s essential to know where, how, when, and who to ask for help. 

These suggestions will help you get in touch with your core values and deepest desires.   They will stimulate your imagination to identify what your life’s purpose, vision, and mission are.

Consider that as you discover your passions that life is calling you.  Are you going to answer the phone?   Or are you going to wait for the voice mail (procrastinate)?   Will you respond with a text because you don’t have the “perfect” response? Or will you put a post on social media asking for permission from others to do what you desire most?

When you feel a strong pull that something is your calling, the best thing to do is get busy!   The sooner you start, the quicker you feel better and build momentum.  When you decide to live your purpose and go for what you really want, amazing things start to occur.  

Start today!  A year from now, you’ll be so glad you did.

What is The Law of Attraction (LOA) and How Does it Work?

Personal Growth
attract abundances

The law of attraction (LOA) is the most well-known and one of the most powerful of the 12 UNIVERSAL LAWS. Based on a theory stating that from the words you speak to your unconscious beliefs, you attract and create everything that appears in your life. Simply put, the law of attraction states that you will attract whatever you focus on most.

If you are ready to unlock this powerful gift for yourself, why not contact us today?

Many have either read or at least heard of The Secret, a well-known book describing in detail how LOA works. The main principle is that your unconscious programming is sent out to the world vibrationally. Because like attracts like, you attract the people in your life who resonate with your vibrational or energetic frequency. Whether it’s negative or positive, everything you see in your life is what you’ve attracted and/or created energetically. By focusing on good and positive things in your life, you will automatically attract and create better and more positive things. If you focus on scarcity and negativity, then that is what will be manifested instead.

There are 7 principles to the Law of Attraction

  • Manifestation: conscious choices create our present moments.
  • Magnetism: we attract the same energy vibration that we put out.
  • Pure Desire: free of fear and doubt, we attract the most beneficial outcomes.
  • Focus with Confidence: desperation creates a paradox and attracts desperate events.
  • Right Action: treat others with dignity and high value and be treated justly. Tear others down and attract destruction.
  • Gratitude: the more gratitude you feel, more things to be grateful for will appear.
  • Influence: good or bad, we all have impact. Positive energy spreads and becomes systemic.

Many famous people attribute their success in life to the Law of Attraction. Oprah Winfrey, Will Smith, Jim Carrey, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and many others, have all practiced working with the Law of Attraction coaches and credit much of their personal success to it.

What benefits does use of the Law of Attraction have in someone’s life?

When you meet someone who has been practicing LOA for some time, they speak about it like it is some type of magic. Whether you choose to believe it or not is up to you and your programming, but consistently, people who practice LOA describe these amazing effects.

Some profound shifts they often speak of are:

  • They no longer simply react to the circumstances and people around them; they consciously and intentionally create what they want in life. Managing thoughts and feelings empowers them to create more of what they want.
  • They think differently; attract more confidently; consciously respond differently to negativity and criticism to it and decrease the frequency of it recurring.
  • They choose to focus on what they want and not give attention to what they “don’t” want, therefore attracting more of what they do want.

Practicing the Law of Attraction Will Dramatically Change Your Life!

  • Attract more money: most people want more money but are completely unaware of limiting beliefs they have around it. Those limiting beliefs and a lack mentality are precisely what block people from creating abundances in their lives. The good news is that LOA can make abundances easy to come by. Many people report unexpected checks, seemingly random job opportunities and even literally finding money as some of the first results.
  • Attract love and satisfying relationships: change your thoughts about love in the past, present, and future and you will attract more of the types of relationships you desire. The LOA is a great tool for finding love. Because the LOA means working on yourself and being clear about your desires, it inherently makes you a more attractive person with a clear vision of what you want and need in your life.
  • Intuitively know how to handle situations that once caused angst: when we change old patterns of thinking and focus on what we truly want, we no longer create situations that are against our desires, which feels like running against the wind. We are much better at working through them if they arise.
  • Have more fun: The results of using the LOA techniques are only limited by your imagination (although there are still the laws of physics and gravity: you’re not going to manifest supernatural powers anytime soon).
  • Spiritual awakening: By its very nature, LOA connects you with higher consciousness and existence. A spiritual awakening can literally mean an awakening of the spirit by having a shift in awareness. Realizing that we are connected to everything around us and everything is connected to us awakens the spiritual force inside and unlocks infinite potential.

Learning how to practice the LOA is not difficult but it takes practice and time. Here are some of the basics excerpted from Jack Canfields, Maximize your Potential.

1. Be clear on what you do want, not what you don’t: you can’t tell a taxi driver you don’t want to go the airport, right? You must be clear on what you want.

2. Believe what you want will happen and then ACT LIKE IT HAS. Put confidence and trust in the powers of the universe and know that it absolutely will happen or is happening already.

3. Receive what you want by becoming a vibrational match for it: By focusing on positive emotions like joy, love, happiness, and gratitude, you will create and attract more joy, love, happiness and gratitude into your life

How to Be Happy During Quarantine Life and Beyond

Are you ready to take more action?

Open your heart and your mind and begin to live the transformation that allows infinite possibilities to become realities. If you’d like to talk to a coach who specializes in practicing the law of attraction, it’s simple to find one on Life Coach Library. Once you are registered and complete a short questionnaire, you will be matched with up to 3 coaches who will give you a complimentary coaching session so you can decide for yourself how amazing it is. Give it a try, it’s FREE.

If you’re still not sure if coaching is right for you, take our quiz, it’s under a minute!

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